I wake up in the morning in my bedroom at home

I roll over to my nightstand and I pick up my phone

And there's no texts,

No calls

There's no texts,

No calls

There's nothing at all

So I get on that Tinder and I swipe and I swipe

Every girl is so pretty I always swipe right 

And there's no fire

No match

No liaghter

I'm just not a catch

There's nothing at all


So I log into my facebook and scroll through my feed

But every picture I see is a selfie of me

So I think that there is something that is wrong with my screen

Turns out all my friends and family deleted me 

There's nothing at all 


So I drive into the wilderness and set up a tent

Hoping that the wild animals will-ah be my friends

And as I'm walking through the forest thinking 

this is the end

I meet a man who says that he's hosting a speed friending event


Get excited

For the First Time

I'm Enlightened

And my Senses

Are Hightened

Until I find out that I'm not invited

There's nothing at all

So don't be like me

Don't be like me

Don't be like me

Go speed friending

Don't be like me

Go Speed Friending.

I'm so lonaly but you don't have to

Be like me

You're different.

You have a purpose.

So welcome to Speed Friending

He rings the bell

And you switch seats

Just imagine

All the friends that you will meet 

Lets party at Speed Friending

This is exactly where you're meant to be. 

It's time to embark on your new found popularity

We did it!

Written and Performed by Dan Selby!

Wedding DJ of the Year 2016